Blog 1: Let’s normalise conversations about death  

On 12 November 2023, my mother unexpectedly died. Losing our matriarch was the most shocking and heartbreaking experience of my life. At 45 years of age, it would be my first time attending a funeral of someone I personally knew. It was a lot to process but the experience and multiple conversations that have taken place since, have inspired me to write a series of blogs about practical and philosophical questions concerning death and burial practices, particularly in Ghana. 

Death (and taxes) are reportedly the only certainties in life, but death remains a taboo topic. We need to be more comfortable talking about death; reflecting on how our religious beliefs complement or contradict our burial practices; discuss the economics of death; and sustainability issues around death and burials. We should have open discussions on other practical questions such as: should we plan for our own death? who should bear the responsibility for burying us when we die? what could burial practices look like in the future? So, in this blog series, I write about death from an analytical perspective as a social scientist and as a grieving daughter going through a first experience of burying a loved one. This introductory blog is complemented by 4 other blogs which dive deeper into other related topics. 

Those who have experienced burying a loved one know that the space to grieve immediately following the death is limited because of the demanding “logistics”. I had one night to cry, inform close family members, console my son and from the next morning, I went straight into the business of things. The first was to buy the next available ticket to Accra, book some days off work, review information (a doctor’s report) from the hospital where mum died and consult a lawyer about what needs to be done. The lawyer advised that it’s a relatively straightforward process to obtain a death certificate as she died in a hospital. If had been outside a hospital, it would necessitate a coroner’s inquest which may involve the police and a magistrate. 

On arrival in Ghana, my sister and I learned that nothing would be straight forward even if she died in a hospital. We encountered a web of irregularities, potential medical malpractice/negligence and exploitation from the institutions that provide documentations concerning death. This experience is elaborated in Blog 2 of these series. What I attempt to do in that blog is to just share the processes to follow after a death and share how bereaved families can unfortunately be exploited by the system in Ghana. So, check out Blog 2 for that story. 

Burial practices vary widely by cultures and religious practices. In the Ashanti culture, burials are very elaborate events. My mother passed away in November 2023 and was only buried in May 2024 because during the months in between, all cultural events, including burials were temporarily banned by the traditional authorities. This is a common occurrence in traditional settings. For example, when the King or Chief is also in mourning, no one is allowed to host any type of event, play loud music etc. Mum’s burial had to follow a specific arrangement in adherence to the Ashanti belief that she would be undertaking a physical journey to join the ancestors. In the third blog, I will share more about this cultural practice, which also renders Ashanti funerals on the lavishly expensive side, with considerable resources taken by entertainment, outfits and meals. Check out Blog 3 for that story. 

I have heard from other Ghanaian families about how they also were not allowed to bury their dead for several months due to temporary bans on events. What does this mean? A body has to stay in the morgue unnecessarily for several months. It’s not only an additional financial burden to the family but an environmental cost. As someone who strongly believes in environmental sustainability, I want to raise more awareness about how our cultural practices are also damaging to the planet. Can we honour the dead in a more eco-friendly way? This is the topic of Blog 4 so do check it out. 

When someone dies, the responsibility of burial becomes that of the immediate and perhaps extended family. I believe this to be a global practice. I am not aware of any culture or society where a person dies and the state or someone else outside the family, steps in to handle the burial – at least not for regular people. Though this is not a common practice, some individuals choose to prepare for their own deaths. I have a close friend whose mother sadly died this year. Her European mother had taken out a funeral insurance which paid for the bulk of the funeral costs. This was the first time I heard about someone essentially taking responsibility for their burial. Like my friend’s mum, I only have one child and the thought of my kid having to go through what my sister and I went (and are going) through is just unimaginable. In the fifth and final blog, I explore the process of planning for one’s own death.

Ultimately, I see a need for us as a society to be comfortable talking about death as a natural experience and to allow ourselves a space to modernise our burial practices. This is a very touchy subject depending on your cultural and religious beliefs. The Ashanti way of burying follows the belief that the deceased will undertake a journey to the afterlife. A very elaborative 4 day burial process honours this practice with incredible cultural sophistication. Admittedly, it was very interesting for me to observe this, and I had some proud moments of being Ashanti. However, it also comes with considerable financial burden, environmental costs, high transaction costs and some superficiality that takes away from a genuine grieving process.

In the end, I hope I have dealt with a sensitive topic in a respectful way even if provocative. For me, it has been a way to release all the thoughts going through my head. One thing that I will say is that even with all my reservations about Ashanti burials and rituals, I feel satisfied in how my mum was buried. I believe my mother would be satisfied with our adherence to the cultural practice and that makes me feel good. I hope you find the blogs interesting and meaningful. Your feedback is always appreciated.

Gone but never forgotten. Rest in peace, mama. 

Peace and love